I keep pulling it out – the old map of my inner path.
I squint closely at it, trying to see some hidden road that maybe I’ve missed, but there’s nothing there now except some well-travelled paths. they have seen my footsteps often, held my laughter, caught my tears.
I keep going over the old map but now the roads lead nowhere, a meaningless wilderness where life is dull and futile.
“toss away the old map,” she says
“you must be kidding!” I reply. she looks at me with Sarah eyes and repeats, “toss it away.
it’s of no use where you’re going.”
“I have to have a map!” I cry,
“even if it takes me nowhere.
I can’t be without direction.”
“but you are without direction,” she says, “so why not let go, be free?”
so there I am – tossing away the old map, sadly fearfully, putting it behind me.
“whatever will I do?” wails my security
“trust me” says my midlife soul. no map, no specific directions, no “this way ahead” or “take a left”. how will I know where to go? how will I find my way? no map! but then my midlife soul whispers:
“there was a time before maps when pilgrims travelled by the stars.”
It is time for the pilgrim in me to travel in the dark, to learn to read the stars that shine in my soul.
I will walk deeper
into the dark of my night.
I will wait for the stars.
trust their guidance
This passage reflects a poignant moment of transition and self-discovery, where the familiar path no longer offers meaning, and the security of old maps – symbols of structure and direction – must be let go.
The speaker clings to the well-travelled roads of their past, where memories of laughter and tears linger, yet those roads now lead to nowhere, offering only a sense of futility.
As midlife approaches, they are urged to release the need for control and certainty, symbolised by the old map. The fear of stepping into the unknown without a clear path is met with the quiet wisdom of the soul, who reminds them that before maps existed, pilgrims relied on the stars for guidance.
This is an invitation to trust one’s inner compass, to navigate life’s uncertainties with faith in the unseen, and to journey deeper into the unknown, trusting the stars within – those intuitive, guiding lights that emerge when one dares to embrace the mystery of life without predetermined directions.
It is a call to let go of rigid structures and find a new way forward through trust, intuition, and inner light.